forever young - Alphaville

originally by Alphaville - the german pop rock from rhein. it was soon covered by laura branigan, and so many others to follow.

let's dance in style, let's dance for a while
heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
hoping for the best, but expecting the worst
are you gonna drop the bomb or not


let us die young or let us live forever
we don't have the power, but we never say never
sitting in a sand-pit, life is a short trip
the music's for the sad men


can you imagine when this race is won
turn our golden faces into the sun
praising our leaders
we're getting in tune
the music's played by the mad men


forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever, forever, and ever?


some are like water, some are like the heat
some are a melody and some are the beat
sooner or later they all will be gone
why don't they stay young?


it's so hard to get old without a cause
i don't want to perish like a fading horse
youth is like diamonds in the sun
and diamonds are forever
so many adventures couldn't happen
today so many songs we forgot to play
so many dreams swinging out of the blue
we let them come true

forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever, forever, and ever?

just finished gym. my last days in dubai, i guess. i will be away for few months. going to libya.
i was thinking whether i will miss it or not? well, no matter how i dislike dubai, i guess it has become my home!
i did a lot here, learnt a lot here, gained and lost a lot here. lost few friends and i will never have them back, one to cancer, 4 in car accident. i never really got over the fact that they are not with us anymore.
people taht i used to see everyday and haven't heard from them for ages. i guess neither of us really wanna hear from one another. i get to do the things that i always wanted to do and finding that they were not really what i thought it would be. i guess i am now more tolerant.
amazingly, after few very hard months, i somehow obtained a conmfort feeling about the hard days and for some reason that i don't really know why, i found peace with my problems, which is excellent.
all in all, it's been a great chance and i guess i used it well. happy that i came here.

PM to warn Iran in Knesset speech

Britain is determined to prevent Iran developing nuclear arms!
the language barrier seems to be a serious problem. apparently the English that we speak is different than the ENglish that he speaks. i mean apart from the accent (which of Mr. Brown is quite appropriate and proper) the meaning of the words are also different.
while Iranians say "We are not developing Nuclear Weapons" the read "We are developing nuclear weapons"!
Ah, such a Israely ass licking pussy this Mr. Brown is. i wonder if anyone tells him that you are missing the NOT dumb ass!

strangely, as the time passes, there are few things that come and go round a circle, even if you had you push them away. relationships, people, situations at work. it makes me wonder why, and vaguely it appears to me that it's a pattern of uncertainty within one's self - here it's me - which results  to repeating the same mistakes, making the same decisions in the same situations and end up with the same result. in the mean time, it's all different experience! 

however, there's no resistance to the stop the circle. it could be for complacency, it carelessness; but it seems more like a joy in a masochistic fetish for thrill of pain and the ride on the circle! and taste of revenge that could from time to time be sweet.

on every street - dire straits

for me, the outro of this song can go forever, just like stairway to heaven, and few others. it's also kind of a painfully blue song, which resembles my story for me. still seeking for the what i had lost and never found again!

on every street

there's gotta be a record of you some place
you gotta be on somebody's books
the lowdown - a picture of your face
your injured looks

the sacred and profane
the pleasure and the pain

somewhere your fingerprints remain concrete
and it's your face i've been looking for on every street

a ladykiller
regulation tattoo
silver spurs on his heels
says, what can i tell you as i'm standing next to you
she threw herself under my wheels
oh it's a dangerous road
and a hazardous load
and the fireworks over liberty explode in the heat
and it's your face i've been looking for on every street

a three-chord symphony crashes into space
the moon is hanging upside down
i dont know why it is i'm still on the case
it's a ravenous town
and you still refuse to be traced
seems to me such a waste
and every victory has a taste that's bittersweet
and its your face i've been looking for on every street

Vendetta

Vendetta
A fortified tower used as refuge for men involved in a blood feud that are vulnerable to attack. Thethi, northern Albania.Originally, a vendetta was a blood feud between two families where kinsmen of the victim intended to avenge his or her death by killing either those responsible for the killing or some of their relatives. The responsibility to maintain the vendetta usually falls on the closest male relative to whoever has been killed or wronged, but other members of the family may take the mantle as well. If the culprit had disappeared or was already dead, the vengeance could extend to other relatives.
Vendetta is typical of societies with a weak rule of law (or where the state doesn't consider itself responsible for mediating this kind of dispute) where family and kinship ties are the main source of authority. An entire family is considered responsible for whatever one of them has done. Sometimes even two separate branches of the same family could come to blows over some matter.

more on:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vendetta

iran is playing UAE, i hope boys kick some serious ass :D

it feels it's been a decade since last time i wrote anything. it's interesting how things trn out to be and these reminders that hits you like a rock had hits you in the head and leaves you feel dizzy and senseless for a long while.
just when i was thinking that life can't be better and everything is going to be fine, things turn out in a way, by what has made my life so interesting, that i wished i never existed!
it's perplxing and confusing, meanwhile i feel blissed to have gotten out of it sooner rather than much later. it's sad though, very sad.

the hardest day

today has so far been the hardest day of my life. harder than the time my father was in prison, harder than the time i carried my sister on my shoulder to rush her to hospital, more scared than the time i was about to die in avalanch.
i don't see myself live that long. probably a bit more than last of my parents. i guess i had made up my mind on this one. i don't see life worth all these suffer.

hands all over - soundgarden

an environmentally conscious song from louder than love album. third album which was in fact the basis of the next successful album bad motor finger. the song is very simlpe and basic; one riff and one note as kim tahyl himslef explains. i like the simplicity of the song. it's pointing to us humans and what we are doing to mother nature!

hands all over

hands all over the eastern border
you know what?
i think we're falling from composure
hands all over western culture
ruffling feathers and turning eagles into vultures

got my arms around my baby brother
put your hands away
your gonna kill your mother, kill your mother
and i love her

hands all over the coastal waters
the crew men thank her
then lay down their oily blanket
hands all over the inland forest
in a striking motion trees fall down
like dying soldiers

got my arms around my baby brother
put your hands away
your gonna kill your mother, kill your mother
and i love her

hands all over the peasants daughter
she's our bride
she'll never make it out alive
hands all over words i utter
change them into things you want to
like balls of clay
put your hands away
your gonna kill your mother
and i love her

i want out!

a note on a suiciadal tendency

i have been really depressed lately. sometime i wonder whether it ever ends? lost a good friend to cancer lately and another not that close but yet someone i knew in a week. headaches, sleepless nights, loss of concentration, dizzy & dim images at night while driving. i can feel it had crept within me.
not even wakebaording and going out on the water clears my head. i need winter to come wash all these away. i hope i get to meet the winter. well, someone said friends will be friends, when you are in need of love and affection. well mr. mercury, i have to say you really suck and you are way too optimistic. not even the ones that say they care about you and they love you will be friends once they see that you are a burdon, what you are is not what they expect or they are having fun somewhere else. they hardly remember you. i'm sure in a few months time they wouldnt even remember i have been there before.

at last ithappened. i lost a newly known friend to cancer. a man, you never saw unhappy, even at the time he lost his mother to the same illness that he suffered and finally lost the battle to. he was truely celebrating the life and enjoying every moment and made everyone around him enjoy it as well.
it's sad that a guy like him is not around anymore and above all, he had left two behind. a wife and a cute boy. it's really sad to see and hard to bear. it's just another turn to the page for worse. it's just not fair.

the one who lies, the one who brags, the one who doesn't care are all gone; yet i'm all of the above and i'm here.

release

i had a short stop in tehran last week to see ow my mom is doing.
she was quite well, to my surprise. she had recovered real well. i was wondering why, cause my father had the same operation and he could hardly sit up after ten days, but my mom was already walking up the stairs in less than a week. that was quite a relief that i was looknig for.

things haven't been the way i wished for, lately. at the office, i struggle a bit which is due to my concentration on the job. i'm wondering whether it's due to change of environment; but does it really take more than a year to adjust myself to my environment?
but the events turn out to be not that bad although they're not the way i wanted it to be and it appears that it's going to be a release, which is strange in ways. having an unexpected (not a child though :D) arrived, no more contact from the expected ones, an unexpected task in job in a different environment...
it's good to be released. i don't care anymore about them. it's all history.

my mom is having an open heart operation today.
i'm so worried that i wanna vomit!

i said breakfasts had been the hi-light sof my trip. true that. every morning i start the day with good fresh papaya, passion fruit, pineapple, good feta cheese and bread. it's awesome.
today, i stayed in for the morning. girls went out for some shopping. i decided i will stay in and chill out. i did so and later headed to soho coffee shop, the shittiest but the tastiest bacon i've ever had. it was funny. i surfed the internet and facebook. chatted a bit. it was quite relaxed.
at 2 i headed to sanur beach for kitebaording. i advanced really fast. i got in the water today. both meself and the trainer were surprised. definitely physics and wakeboarding both had helped me. it sounds a bit geeky with "physic" involved but it's true. anyways, i steered the kite while in water and it was quite exciting. i was really aggressive that kutak (i believe this is how the name of the trainer is being spelled) was laughing. i guess he was enjoying it too.
anyways, the driver that we paid 38 dollars a day for more than 12 hours of service, drove me back home.
i was shattered so a nap was really helpful but impossible. absolutely not enough time. N (a friend of mine from dubai) was arriving tonight. i had to take her to the villa i found her. it was a nice villa, but she didn't like it that much. R and J were off to kudeta for a dinner with the owners of the club to see if they can do that in dubai (very cool idea), where we were supposed to join them for seventh birthday of the club. big party.
so L (another friend), S (sort of collegue of mine), naghme and i went to have dinner in this restaurant called waresan. the owner is a french-algerian guy called saieed - apparently the head chef as well. a very classy restaurant with a cool bar. we had few drinks at the bar and got acquainted with this brits from singapore. they tried to be funny! they were a bit but i'm not into them that much. as usual a 50 something year old woman hitted on me! men i'm pissed with this luck!
the food was just great. it was a fancy restaurant and we had to book the table before hand but when you are with R, you can be sure that everything is possible. she practically knows everyone in bali!
a four course super quality meal with a bottle of chardonnay and few other drinks costs around 50 dollars. dirt cheap. for that meal and service, i have to pay 130+ dollars in dubai. it was really nice.
after the dinner we arrived at kudeta. by far the best party i've ever had so far happened here. when we arrived, one-two former inxs were playing. very good music. champaign, good drinks and cocktails and a very good dj after ex-inxs were done.
i partied until 4 a.m. awesome party. i haven’t had that much fun in ages. good drink, nice ladies, beautiful weather, by the ocean and soho’s cheeseburger with ham on the side after that. it was sweeeeeeeeeeeet. the unpleasant part of it was that i never got laid the whole trip. mostly for i’m not good at picking up the girls at the bar (in fact never done that now that I think about it) as well as i found myself having a 52 year old chubby hanging from my neck telling me how she needs me to get her home! there were hundreds more which never happened, for some i guess obvious reasons. and there was S kept reminding me of how i left the rest of the girls alone and they are now not in kudeta and how dangerous it could be. forgetting that the youngest of them all was 35 and could well be busy a bit and take good care of themselves! guess she asking for something that i was not prepared to give. she’s a nice girl or woman better to say, but worries everyone’s ass off

the thing about the whole trip was that it was really humbling in a way. fortunately, i got to see how much of a jerk we could be. we the ones who are from the selected part of the society here in dubai! a member of dubai selected society. the jet sets! driving the best cars, yet wandering in our small world in circles and everyday the same shit! we are well able to delay the flight out of our own stupidity, then criticize the flight staff for the havoc we caused, call the flight “maid airways” only for poor ladies on the flight happens to be from indonesia where most of the house maids in uae are from! this part was not nice. in fact was disgraceful. and i was too lame and to useless to defy that! we are not perfect, are we? (doesn't it sound a bit like mel gibson?)

man of golden words - by motherlovebone

wanna show you something like the joy inside my heart
seems i’ve been living in the temple of the dog
where would i live, if i were a man of golden words?
or would i live at all?

words and music, my only tools
communication

and on her arrival, i will set free the birds
it’s a pretty time of year when the mountains sing out loud
tell me, mr. golden words how’s about the world?
tell me can you tell me at all

words and music, my only tools
communication

let’s fall in love with music
the driving force of our livings
the only international language
divine glory, the expression
the knees bow, the tongue confesses
the lord of the lords, the king of the kings
the king of the kings

words and music, my only tools
communication

i miss my mountains!

nothing bothers me more than people's expectation. like they own me or what?
anyway, i guess i'm good in ruin a weekend which could have been an awesome one.
now i'm sitting in my living room and the walls are chewing me little by little. it's one of them moments which one might wish it never exists. although i climbed the walls for an hour and had a nice chat over lunch with cousin and her hubby, it seems not working. it just won't work.
just so lonely with 100 people around me!