a hazy morning
like any other day
a walk by the mountain
a look at the sun rise
carrying the burden of thousand years

no wings to fly
no sword to draw
to kill the demon
to ride away the evil

a misty day
comes the time to travel to the distant far
ride through the wild
to search for the light
to bring back the life
once taken and never to be returned

no wings to fly
but a sword to draw
away is the evil
dead is the demon

now mountains behind and seas sailedconquered is the castle of demon
light unleashed
life once again

eddie vedder - no ceiling

comes the morning
when i can feel
that there's nothing left to be concealed
moving on a scene surreal
no, my heart will never be far from here

sure as i am breathing
sure as i'm sad
i'll keep this wisdom in my flesh
i leave here believing more than i had
and there's a reason i'll be back

as i walk
the hemisphere
got my wish to up and disappear
i've been wounded
i've been healed
now for landing i've been cleared

sure as i'm breathing
sure as i'm sad
i'll keep this wisdom
in my flesh
i leave here believing
more than i had
this love has got
no ceiling

darfur conviction

an inetersting event http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7922705.stm and a shocking story on darfur http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7921311.stm . it's quite depressing if what in the second article had been said is true. it's dangerous how can people with such mentalities gain power, rule over people and then decide that some of them (a large sum) are no good, so kill them and rape them. i guess the role of education and democracy becomes highly significant in avoiding such occurence and resurrection of human rights, which is nothing fancy but the right to live!
also, if any of the prophets were to see these days, how would have they felt, react? is this really their legacy? i wonder.

what a day, if you could look it in the face and hold your vomit!

victory brings a sensational feeling of satisfaction. that's how i feel these days. it feels twice as better when i remember that this was an unwanted and un-intended war.
something that i have been dragged into because my supervisor for some reason thought he could win or he had not any intentions of such but for bad managing the situation, it turns out to be a war, through which i should have survived or else i should have kissed my career goodbye! but my paitience and hard work paid at the end. there has been some serious ass kicking and questions had been asked.
it feels good. it surely boosted my confidence and made me aware of the qualities i had!
life's good

another gunmen attack, this time in pakistan and in a cricket match! few dead and few players injured! i wonder why? how the can finance these attacks?
i was watching a programme on NAT GEO Adventure yesterday. it was about the ordeal a woman had in philipines. the islamic militants of Abu-Sayyaf abducted them and held her and a group of others for a year long period. she was a meissionaire with her husband, also a missionaire. the attitude of militants was not strange at all. i have personnally seen and expereinced such attitude from up close in iran. the following questions had came to my mind:
1- is islam really that harsh a religion that it's followers can easily kill people, kidnap them and ask for ransome! then they use the ransome to finance their shit!
2- in case there would be any change, would that happen in iran as well? such attitudes are not rare in iran and while it is very selfish yet in the mean time so selfless it is that becomes very scary.
she finally lost her husband at the end when philipino army attempted to rescue them!

there's nothing that a focused mind and determined attitude cannot do.

eddie vedder - hard sun

when i walk beside her
i am the better man
when i look to leave her
i always stagger back again

once i built an ivory tower
so i could worship from above
when i climb down to be set free
she took me in again

there's a biga big hard sun
beating on the big people
in the big hard world

when she comes to greet me
she is mercy at my feet
i see her inner charm
she just throws it back at me

once i dug an early grave
to find a better land
she just smiled and laughed at me
and took her rules back again

when i go to cross that rivers
she is comfort by my side
when i try to understand
she just opens up her hands

once i stood to lose her
and i saw what i had done
bowed down and threw away the hours
of her garden and her sun

so i tried to want her
i turned to see her weep
40 days and 40 nights
and it's still coming down on me

it's strange how the libyans have the tendency to bullshit people. especially commit themsleves to something that they don't have to in the first place but then they vanish and that part of their memory comes as if nothing had been said on that specific subject! incred-a-bull!

when i was younger and a university student, i have often been reminded of how i am wasting my time playing basket, work as basketball coach and playing baseball. it was by no means fitting in my parents and the surroundings of their small world. i am definitely not the only one who's facing that. i guess i sometime join their league of "lacking dimensions to life" type of persons. i thought a lot about what they said and i still argue with them and with teh perspective they have on life. in fact, what i am made of today, is the result of those days i spent living basketball. we were breathing basketball, being fed by basketball. everything was basketball, MJ, magic, penny hardaway, grant hill and for me above all were scottie pippen and ron harper. strange choices but i learnt a lot from them. to be MJ has never been as excting as being Scottie pippen or ron harper. the fact that they were quite acpable player and material contributors to MJ's success, the way they played in a team and the way they stepped up in teh time they had to, is just inspiring to me. there's hardly anything being mentioned about ron harper, but i never forget his defence on teh last ball of chicagos last championship. he out-defended john stockton on his last position and deflected his 3-pointer.
the point of all these is that no matter where you spend you time, what matters at the end of the day is that you make it worth a while, as ron harper did, as pippen did and as MJ did. i guess we (the ones that breath basketball) also did the same. it made us to be hard workers, focused and i claim professional.

it's amusing how tide turns during time. no matter how hard life is at times, howmany challenges one might face at times, the only thing that it takes is to believe at own's qualities, hard work, patience and to stay focus. while realising one cannot have it all and to be real is essetial, especially for a mentally healthy life style. one thing for sure, is that whingeing the present and lamenting the past, doesn't resolve a thing. it's only hope for now and furture that counts.
and if one is focused enough, then she/he can definitely turn the tides before even the time for tides to turn has arrived.

one of the attributes that i commonly see through people, including myself, from time to time is the need for drama. the level of drama differs of course. in some i say is close to none. i personally try to keep it to the minimum, up to my capabilities. in some is like air.
it only takes "roof" for them to say "no, don't kill yourself!"
well relax dude, chill out. i just wanted to have a moment on the roof and look at the sun set and then come back down or have the roof of my car off; no suicidal intension!
but why? can't take things simpler and easier? i mean we don't have to be fortune tellers and guess what others wanna say? it only takes two good ears to hear what the others say and then respond accordingly if necessary!

i have been quite sick in past few days. i had such a head ache that i could hardly lift my head from the pillow! so i had to stay in the wednesday. i never found out why? it was like a food poisoning and extreme dehydration as a result. it hasn't been that bad though. i experienced a new format of movements in objects and events. i could clearly see a distorted image of the sky and the clouds! the people moving! however, the waves through their natural distortion, they became unified and became fluent and smooths although very harsh and heavy they were pounding the shore! i wonder, have i been drugged?

political Alzheimer!

Pakistan Government had agreed to a deal with Taliban militants to lay down Sharia law in Swat area of Pakistan, in exchange for Taliban to lay down their arms and weapons. who's Sharia law? Taliban's of course. it has been regarded as a very positive. yesterdays murderers who banned women from education, girls & boys from playing, largest producer of opium in the world whom i held responsible for growing addiction in Iran, etc. are now officially controlling an area in middle east! i can't see any reason other than the politician in pakistan are suffering from Alzheimer and had forgotten what these bloody Taliban had done in the past.
it has been said it is a requirement of people of that region! i wonder if this requirement had been discussed with the girls, and children who have to hide in their houses, or abandon their education. Or maybe, Pakistani Government are short of cash and with this deal, they can use some opium funds from Taliban!
then why are we after drug dealers and human traffickers and child pornographers? what is the difference between Taliban and them? let them live freely as well! why not? Taliban have the right to control a part of this planet, why shouldn't they?shame on pioneers of democracy and human rights. welcome back murder! i guess these days are as black as medieval times!

forced to be a good man

in the another capter of "celebrities apology" sitcom comedies, prince harry. he had called one of his troopers who happens to eb pakistani a "paki". apparently a racist word. well the lad had wore a "swastika" the Nazi arm band in one the parties he was in adntehn apologised to jewish community, he called his troopers a paki, another one a raghead. maybe he is a racist. what's wrong with that? we could denounce it (i would), but why should we (as mob and media) expect him to change into something else?
well i guess media has large part to do with it (check this). senseless content and mass brain wash. funny thing is that, it has become so serious an affair for the public that you get the feeling as if they own the guy and funny is that all of them apologise. no one comes out and say, hey i said that, i did that! all say i'm sorry.
isn't it pathetic?

United Nations

hmmm.... it is a funny combination of words, whatever the intention had been, when first was created. two sides are killing one another and thousands of other who have no business in between are getting burnt, losing legs, eye sights, losing love ones, mothers who see their children and babies suffer, children who see their fathers and mothers suffer and yet these sacred whore called UN is incapable of even issuing a statement.
United Nations, what a combination of words. It rather implies that whoever has a problem, comes to me, we go a round for free and everyone would be satisfied (if you know what i mean). i wonder how we could call it UN when few have the power of veto? what is veto anyway? why it has been given to few? why not all have the power to veto? after all most of us and so called first world countries adn super powers, industrial countries, G8 or what the fuck ever one wanna call them are pondering and pursuing to bringing democracy to other countries, third world, under devloped or developing.
it is sad. it is insane. in no era i believe, human life had been so cheap and in hands of bunch of lunatics!

change has for a long while been an interesting subject to me. for that matter, i had put a lot of effort in that during past few years. most of what i have done for work, had been implementing new procedures, which is change.
i have recently got to read a bit more about alvin toffler and he has a great say. he says: "the illiterate of the twenty-first century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
what a definition. it made me to review those few years and it by far a better insight on why we iranians, who have been one of the pioneers of the new world and founder of presian empire, the first ones who had established human rights, are now in such state and position? one might argue that we had hanged a lot. from a monarchy to islamic republic. true probably that was the only change that people took part in it, but yet again, they stopped there and considered the job done, where in fact it was the beginning. what it has all to do with toffler's definition of illiteracy? well to me and the way is analyse it is that it is inability to change and let say-unlearn and re-learn that had put us in this situation. the fact that we want the world to revolve around what most of us (not all of course) as individuals know than what the world really is. we have the illusion that we are most clever, the most civilised, the most religious, the most everything and therefore we don't need to change. the ability to un-learn and re-learn is the ability to change and modify, to adjust with the newfound facts and better ways.
that's where we are falling apart. a glimpse at how our society behaves speaks for itself. the way we talk, the way most of us eat, the way we drive (how much respect for others and their peace of mind we have?), how well we work, how often we lie and talk behind others back, how often we cheat (and yet we claim god's watching over us and we are the pioneers of islam!)? how well the status of our schools and universities? how well organised our political parties and their rallies are?

friends

ignorance and complacency are very dangerous. they are scary. they make one forget the joys of life. i can recall how much i used to enjoy one simple apricot when i was a kid, or having cornflakes with banana for breakfast. i can remember that i was craving for years to have another braekfast like that at home. banana was a luxurious fruit during iran-iraq war. but then comes the time that i have all that and i can afford all that myself. great! but how soon we can forget the joy. one becomes complacent. and he/she practices that complacency over and over again until he/she is a totally different person.
i have to say that i am one suffering from ignorance and compacency, though i am trying to kind of re-boot myself and i have been good in that revision and again enjoy my cornflakes and banana breakfast, but it is very hurting to remember that i was complacent to my friends and ignoring them! i wouldn't appreciate their presence, support, being arond me and i couldn't have fun with them.
fortunately, i am enjoying my time with them again. i have to say i am feeling very lucky to have them. especially few who are very very especial. tey are so deep and so clever and intellectual that in order to be able to keep up with tem, i need to do a lot of work and learn a lot of things and yet everyday, they caught me by surprise on how deeper i should dig in order to get to know them and how far ahead they are. i remember the days that we have been looked at as the ones who only know how to throw the basketball!
i'm glad to be one of them. it is a great feeling.

a murderer that got away!

this name should always be remembered by |iranians, although i believe few have a clue of who he is and what had he done!
naval officer Captain William C. Rogers III

last night BBC had an interview with the Íngrid Betancourt Pulecio Colombian French politician, presidential candidate and anti-corruption activist who have been captured by FARC rebels in Colombia. her words were of interest to me, especially because she was a presidential candidate. meaning, had she been in office, she would have made decisions and would have influence on the affairs of the region and maybe rest of the world.
she was insisting on "talking" as a tool. she believes words should be the tool to resolve the conflicts. it made me furious! not that i encourage use of force and fighting with guns, but i do believe time for talking is over and we need action. peaceful and meaningful actions.
look at Gaza. everybody is talking, but does it really matter? no. while if those who were talking and have the power, like EU, UK instead of talking shit like condemning Israelis, had taken serious actions against the bloody murder, then maybe there was less bodies lying on the street crawling their way to the morgues!