pearljam - thumbing my way

riot act is probably pearljam's most underrated album. their seventh studio album, it has been released after september 11 terrorist attacks on US and invasion of iraq. vedder himself sys this album is about "if we ar ein middle east, knowing why we are there!" and to defy the blind patriotism. the lyrics are quite touching and a mixture of hope and hopelessness.

thumbing my way
i have not been home since you left long ago
i'm thumbing my way back to heaven
counting steps, walking backwards on the road
i'm counting my way back to heaven
i can't be free with what's locked inside of me
if there was a key, you took it in your hand
there's no wrong or right, but i'm sure there's good and bad
the questions linger overhead
no matter how cold the winter, there's a springtime ahead
i'm thumbing my way back to heaven

i wish that i could hold youi wish that i had
thinking 'bout heaven
i let go of a rope, thinking that's what held me back
and in time i've realized, it's now wrapped around my neck
i can't see what's next, from this lonely overpassh
ang my head and count my steps, as another car goes past
all the rusted signs we ignore throughout our lives
choosing the shiny ones instead
i turned my back, now there's no turning back
no matter how cold the winter, there's a springtime ahead
i smile, but who am i kidding?
i'm just walking the miles, every once in a while i'll get a ride
i'm thumbing my way back to heaven

wasting my air - the mars volta

Let me point out
What's on my mind?
Look inside you I can tell
We don't want you here
We don't need you here
Making up a point, making up a side
Making up a point, making up my mind

Let me tell you this will all be over
Let me tell you that I'll call someone out
Let me tell you that we can end if so many give up before me

You're wasting my air

we paid too heavy a price for it. so many dead. so many arrested. it is a hectic time and crucial. would it be a movement that would die down or would it be a movement that make things for better, yet to be known. for sure, these are defining moments.
whatever happens it showed the people can unite, but also showed that how aggressive they could be. not sure if aggression would solve anything. crisis was not managed properly by either side. these much force was not necessary and opposition didn't manage to tackle the lack of communication!
people in total information black out and risked too much!

election

today i learnt a fact and it has hit me hard. so hard that i can hardly breath. i learn that how naive i am when it comes down to politics. i, for long, had believed in democracy. i had accepted the fact that in each and every elections here are frauds, irregularities, rigging. in the mean time i though that the more the turn out, the harder it is to cheat. today i was proven wrong. i was shown how naive i am when it comes down to politics!
they manage to change the result to something astronomically ridiculously false. so big a lie that one can question his own sanity. are we that blind?
final result of election had not been officially announced as far as i know. but i don't see it changed! in the mean time i can't imagine another four years of life in ahmadinejads era! i really am down, deflatted, depressed, demotivated, all the de-s in the world!

diversity

it's nearly end of my first week back home. we are helping a chinese company doing what they do. it has been an interesting week. for the start it is so diverse an environment that it is sometimes unbearable! the difference in culture is in part at the farthest. although we have great admiration for philosophy and art.
also the way they work is strange rather old and inefficient but they work like there's no tomorrow! it's not a bad thing at all. i wouldn't mind if i'd worked like that.
but most interesting of my observations had been their reaction to our election. our current presidential election which happen to be the most important so far had rejuvenated the whole mob and specially the youth and these colleagues of mine have no clue on what election is! they were curiously but not very positively asking about elections and some didn't even know there would be an upcoming election.
not surprising considering the socio-political environment they had been lived in!
i have to admit i am feeling lucky to be exposed to such diverse environment in past three years. learnt a lot and refined my thoughts further.

fear

i found this article from mybest friends weblog (thought ++). it is very interesting. i recommend the reading.
http://mises.org/story/1819

the saddest song - morphine

on my first day back in town
the clouds up above
they were hummin' our song

my biggest fear
is if i let you go
you come and get me in my sleep

i set my course
sailing away from shore
steady as she goes
clash in the night
two worlds collide
and when two worlds collide no one survives
reddest of reds and the bluest of the blues
is the saddest of song i sing for you

tough times

these are very tough days. i wish they pass by sooner and i can see them through.

our part in our future

have any of us thought about how much did we contribute to the failure of last reform movement? did we do enough? did we play our part, and did we play it right? i hope there are at least few who have though about these questions or other questions that i haven’t ask?
i believe what we need to realize is that one person, can only do so much and our net president if he’s the one we want ca only provide the chance, the rest is up to us to use it.
we people, as the social units, have a huge role to play and unless we play it right, there would not be much hope and a president and it’s administration cannot change.
why? simply for the fact that we undo the effects of government’s efforts. Khatami, at least from economic perspective, did a huge job. Iran masterminded the return of OPEC. financially we were sound and had reserve with oil price of 7-10 us$ per barrel (OPEC revival resulted in see a rise in oil prices). cultural activities saw a boost during that time. his administration unearthed the intellectuals serial massacre. he made the interior Minster to resign and replaced him, the one who is now attorney general and has a lot of power. he he’s mistakes as well. for one he didn’t manage the expectations well.
other instance of our (as individuals) effect on government efforts are, is situation of driving in Iran. i am sure there is simply too many complaining about situation and are not happy. they might say, well there’s no rules! well my friends you are wrong. there are rules. the signs are rules. the no parking sign is a rule, which one chooses to break it. and when s/he is fined for breaking the rule, they curse and insult the police.
i was in Libya for 6 months for work and i had too much time not to think about certain issues and observe their habits and compare it to ourselves (which most might think they are inferiors and we are the supreme ones) and the result is depressing and shocking. Libya is known for having it’s driving codes and regulation established and into effect only recently. few years back. anything goes there as long as the car passes. but is that any different in Tehran? or up north? down south? no
i find them (in general and not all of them) extremely lazy and they can pass two three weeks without working. how are we compared to them? how can we claim we are one the sharpest races when we only use less than 40 minutes a day of that genius gene during a day. how intolerable we are when it comes down to other ethnicities.
most of us simply don’t hesitate to talk shit behind others back even if we haven’t even seen the subjects of the gossip! how lame?
we are racist as much as they are! intolerant as much as they are!
we are like them. i refuse to be like them so i have to refuse being an Iranian, but i can’t. i can’t because i simply see no divide between me and that soil. it is important for me as it is to all of others. but we need to change as much as our government needs to change. change starts here, from within. anything other than that is a painkiller but not a cure. o am surely looking forward to better days and peaceful time. looking forward to that day that i travel to another country and they respect me not because i am a muslim but because i am an Iranian.
i still am a proud Iranian, but it had caused me some troubles even in Libya!
i hope the tax i pay is spent in Iran to improve the situation of my own people, rather than thousands of miles away in no man’s land to blow up the enemy and be therefore a cause for Palestinian children loss of life.

elections

being thousand miles away simply doesn't help. it's election time and i find myself even more anxious than 12 years ago when khatami was elected for te first time. the energy amongst people especially the youth was fantastic. it was so full of hope. although, i believe, the expectations were somehow way off the reality and people expected some founadmental changes, which were far from reality and expectation management is simply not there, but one thnig was obvious and that was how hope brought the people together and brought them to life. the vibes changed.

we have a immensly difficult task in front of us for change. now we need foundamental change and that change starts within. we as individual need and have to change. our manners, way of life shall change or we are doomed. we need to live responsibly and enjoy it responsibly. people need to realise that one person can only do so much. the rest is up to us.

my hope is for a reformist to be elected, which one i still don't know. and if there would be a run off, then i am looking forward to see two reformists be selected. i crave to see ahmadinejad get less than 10% of the votes (is it a "dream on boy" wish?)

make it with you - queens of the stone age

you wanna know if i know where
i can't say that i do
don't understand the evil and
or how one becomes two
i just can't recall what started it all
or how to begin the end
i ain't here to break it
just see how far it will bend
again and again, again and again

i wanna make it
i wanna make it wit chu
(again and again and again)

i wanna make it
i wanna make it witchu
(anytime, anywhere)

sometimes the same is different
but mostly it's the same
these mysteries of life
that just ain't my thang
if i told you that i knew about the sun and the moon
i'd be untrue
the only thing i know for sure
is what i won't do
anytime, anywhere

i wanna make it
i wanna make it wit chu
(again and again, yeah yeah)
i wanna make it

state of listlessness

it's been a while since i have not posted. i had a good momentum until recently that i travelled back home and hadn't have enough time to post and also no energy or i guess i didn't even care to do that. it obvisouly doesn't matter (to others of course) if i write or not but it didn't matter to me as well. it's not a good. plus there's a lt to write about and a lot i have to write about. like the truth and stories about my dad's years in prison. quite shocking and depressing. yet, so revealing that i have now find some peace with him after so many years of fighting within and without.

sweet euphoria - chris cornell

sweet euphoria mine is the heart you own
you lost the grace of the hands that harmed you
in the daze of a thousand yawns
lost my love, as it is i'm truly gone
in your morning i will sleep
fire on an open palm
death for jesus and plastic armies
wouldn't bring me back again
sweet as ether eyes i'm blind to them

and in your aching hour
time wilts like flowers
sleeping on land-mine pillows
tired angels
save my love for the lasting one

sweet euphoria mine is the heart you stole
touched and broken are the things you love
using stars to light your candles
warms my face but i can't remember yours
gone are your dandelions falling like mine
falling like daydream mangos
diving swallows

save my love for the lasting one

pillow of your bones

chris cornell, sound garden frontman and already a legend in world of music. growing up in a troubled home, divorced parents; he went from an authority defying kid and stealing from neighbours to be a great song writer. he was born & raised in seattle. he left the school at age of 15 in order to help her mother run the family, when eventually her mother introduced hiom to drums and he got a full kit dum and started to play.
later in olleg years, he formed sound garden and won two grammies. he later started his solo career before forming audio slave with ex-RATM band members. they produced two albums and split on irreconcilable musical differences (and probably personal). He started his solo career with a fantastic album "Euphoria morning" here is pillow of your bone from the album:


the embers of the saint inside of you
are growing as i'm bathing in your glow
i'm swallowing the poison of your flower
and hanging on the rising of my low
colorful and falling from your mouth
like a painted fever in recoil
like a lie without the pain

on a pillow of your bones
i will lay across the stones
of your shore until the tide comes crawling back
throw my pillow on the fire
make my bed under the eye
of your moon until the tide comes crawling back

a waning hand on silver granite ways
will mend my broken limbs and bend my haze
i'm sleeping in the silence of your voice
i'm cradling the peril of my only choice
colorful and falling from your mouth
like a painted fever in recoil
like a lie without the pain

on a pillow of your bones
i will lay across the stone
of your shore until the tide comes crawling back
throw my pillow on the fire
make my bed under the eye
of your moon until the tide comes crawling back


even though the truth can burn inside or fall behind
i will wander through your open mind
and you will find no lie can hide
until the tide comes crawling

i can't take smart comments. on anything. i find them quite boring and seriously offensive. especially when it is on sensitive subjects like someone's integrity, or a political situation or human right situation that is currently is out of one's hand, or making smart comments about a country when the one who's passing the comment is coming from a country which have been suffering from civil war for past two decades solid and had their nationalist militia slaughtered civilians in refugee camps. i really find it inappropriate and stupid. for fuck's sake, have a look at yourself before you make such comments.
i mean where is the necessity of all these misconceptions and judgments, which will later lead to such labeling. why can't we as human be a bit comforting to one another? why some are just too smart for their brain? probably stupidity is as vast as universe as one said.
above is far worse when that one claims to be your friend!

sinful joys of life

i guess many of us had been grown up being warnned and sometimes harshly warned of the consequences of sins, bad deed, blasphemy etc. but why? aren't we supposed to be human? make mistakes? learn?
i don't know, i just don't to feel like continue tonight.

rajaz - by camel

where do i start with this one? camel hasn't been my most favourite band but they are indeed very important to music and to me personally. their story, their music, it all makes sense to me and i can well connect. why? well for one, maybe life hasn't been that easy on us and yet, we had managed out of that. not that i compare myself with them, not at all. they are on a totally different scale of success.
anyway, here's rajaz (by the way, this is the second time that this lyrics had made it to my weblog. this song is very personal to me)

when the desert sun has passed horizon's final light
and darkness takes it's place
we will pause to take our rest.
sharing song of love
tales of tragedy.

the souls of heaven
are stars at night.
they will guide us on our way
until we meet again
another day

when a poet sings the song and all are hypnotised
enchanted by the sound
we will mark the time as one
tandem in the sun
the rhythm of a hymn.

when the dawn has come
sing the song
all day long

we will move as one
bear the load
on the road

the souls of heaven
turn to stars
every single night
all across the sky
they shine

heart by pet shop boys

i know it is cheesy, but can't help it. i like this song :)))) it's kinda sweeeeeeeeet

heart
every time i see you something happens to me
like a chain reaction between you and me
my heart starts missing a beat
every time

if i didn't love you, i would look around for someone else
but every time i see you, you have the same effect
my heart starts missing a beat
every time

i hear your heart beat next to me
i'm in love with you; i mean what i say
i'm in love with you, and you don't know
what it means to be with you

every time i see you, no matter what we do
there's a strange reaction, can you feel it too?
my heart starts missing a beat
every time

i hear your heart beat next to me
i'm in love with you
i mean what i say
i'm in love with you
and you don't know what it means to be with you
every time

political incarnation

i was reading the news today to quench my political thirst, that i came to an article on Iran-US relations. the position that Iranians had taken had gone from firm and righteous stance to a lame and ridiculous one!
previously, during bush time, Iranian were saying that they will negotiate if only there's no preconditions. it has been one thing that i was in agreement with our current government. there should not be any preconditions for negotiations. it seems that new US office had reconsidered their stance and not only there would not be any preconditions now to negotiate with Iran, but also Obama sends a new year message to Iranians, not excluding the Government.
now what is our politicians response to that change of rhetoric? they now have preconditions for negotiations! i don't really care whether we have relations with US? Having relations will make life easier but if there are no relations then life is not impossible.
one thing that our politicians are missing, is that time for clever plays and get ride for free is over. just as bush could get to nowhere for free and seeing the world from a defiant eye, Iranians can't as well. now US has a world behind his policies. they are now really leaders with consent of others.
i'm afraid the bush's soul had been in to pieces and each piece had reincarnated in Iranian politicians body!

you sexy thing - hot chocolate

quite a cheesy song this. but it's simple and honest, yet lush. i like simplicity and lush is sexy! Stereophonics had also covered this song, which is a great performance.
here it is:

i believe in miracles
where you from
you sexy thing
i believe in miracles
since you came along
you sexy thing

miracles right before my eyes
you sexy thing got me hypnotised
don't stop what ya' doing
what ya' doing to me
my angel from above lying next to me

how did ya' know that i'd be the one
been a long time coming only just begun
doing all the things that makes my heart sing
keep doing what you're doing you sexy thing

how did ya' know i needed you so badly
how did ya' know i gave my heart gladly
yesterday i was one of a lonely people
now you're lying next to me
making love to me

i believe in miracles
where you from
you sexy thing
i believe in miracles
since you came along
you sexy thing

only yesterday i was on my own
just another day later my mind was blown
you sexy thing come into my life
forever and a day it feels so right

how did ya' know that i'd be the one
been a long time coming only just begun
doing all the things that makes my heart sing
keep doing what you're doing you sexy thing

how did ya' know i needed you so badly
how did ya' know i gave my heart gladly
yesterday i was one of a lonely people
now you're lying next to me
making love to me

i believe in miracles
where you from
you sexy thing
i believe in miracles
since you came along
you sexy thing

kiss me baby
you sexy thing