it's been almost two weeks now since i came to libya. it's nice in tripoli but unbearbly alone. its like a cell, which its walls are as far as forever.
although i managed to make friends and see people, even have wine in a dry country, but it seems it is not home. it's in ways better than dubai. less hectic, silent but so silent that if it was anything live, you would think it's dead.
plus i cannot forget her. my dreams and thoughts are haunted by her memories. her image and soft voice are circling round my thoughts. makes it even harder to bear.
it's not something that i can forget.
as jibran khalil jibran puts it:
"it is not a cast i wear off today, it is my skin that i shall tear with my own hand"
and who's to tear his own skin?

indifference
by pearljam

i will light the match this mornin', so i won't be alone
watch as she lies silent, for soon light will be gone
i will stand arms outstretched, pretend i'm free to roam
i will make my way, through, one more day in hell...

i will hold the candle till it burns up my arm
i'll keep takin' punches until their will grows tired
i will stare the sun down until my eyes go blind
hey i won't change direction, and i won't change my mind

how much difference does it make

i'll swallow poison, until i grow immune
i will scream my lungs out till it fills this room
how much difference

how much difference does it make...