this is how a love song should be written and sung:
love, let me sleep tonight on your couch
and remember the smell of the fabric
of your simple city dress
oh... that was so real
we walked around til the moon got full like a plate
the wind blew an invocation and i fell asleep at the gate
and i never stepped on the cracks ’cause i thought i’d hurt my mother
and i couldn’t awake from the nightmare that sucked me in and pulled me under
pulled me under
oh... that was so real
i love you, but i’m afraid to love you
Friday, October 24, 2008
it's been a week since i came back to tripoli. the number of people who actually asked a how am i, is not more than fingers of a hand! that's how lonely you could feel. german called. my parents called. keyvan called to see if he could get my car from kami (accepted). he's a good lad. and two other emails. that's it!
first friday. i had a late night by myself. just chilled. lot of facebook, TV in bed and biscuits and orange juice. it took me to my early days. i used to love biscuits and orange juice when i was a kid and in kindergarten. strange enough that today's lunch took me back to the first day of the school. or it was not first day but before schools actually started. yeah, now i remember. my dad took me to the school to how it is. i have vague memories of my kindergarten but i remember exactly where it was. strange!
anyways, my dad took me there and i met our school admin. i can't remember his name. but his face is like a shadow all over my memories. very vague but perfectly there. we had a canteen in st. louise elementary. i remember from the day one i was not the most popular kid. i guess i came to term with it later. i enjoyed being in the shadow. i always wanted to be part of a group rather than outstanding one. it gives me great pleasure to share the achievement with others. whether it was a winning a football game, few apricots, reaching to the top of the mountain or jumping in a swimming pool. but i also never waited for others. i had done my things and still doing them.
i got carried away! anyways, today i had spaghetti bolognese. i well remember that the day my dad took me to see the school, we arrived in the afternoon. for some reason, i had lunch there. maybe my father was doing the administration formalities in the admin office, or whatever i don't recall. but that day, i had spaghetti bolognese as well. today's meal was as tasteless as it was back then. but it was not bad at all. i kind of enjoyed it.
i don't see my childhood as a great one nor do i say it was a bad one. i guess, it was just the way it was. i am wondering why though. i was about to be held hostage at age 0f almost 6-7; my school bus was about to be burnt down by mojaheddin, then after revolution my dad was arrested and put in jail for a year, he was almost executed. but i can say i never said i wish it was another way. i wish it never happened or so! it is strange. i know that i never had that bond with my father, but still love him to pieces.
he suffered a lot but never learnt. i guess he most of all suffered, for he could never provide the life that he wished he would have lived as a kid. i know he had a tough childhood. he had to go to police academy, because he didn't have enough money to go to law school, what he really loved.
i mean, it would have been great if we had more money, but hey, it doesn't really matter to me. i think if i had his proper support i my sports i would have been more than happy. i never had that though.
what a piece today. i just went on and on. so un-focused! but it's a relief.
anyways, my dad took me there and i met our school admin. i can't remember his name. but his face is like a shadow all over my memories. very vague but perfectly there. we had a canteen in st. louise elementary. i remember from the day one i was not the most popular kid. i guess i came to term with it later. i enjoyed being in the shadow. i always wanted to be part of a group rather than outstanding one. it gives me great pleasure to share the achievement with others. whether it was a winning a football game, few apricots, reaching to the top of the mountain or jumping in a swimming pool. but i also never waited for others. i had done my things and still doing them.
i got carried away! anyways, today i had spaghetti bolognese. i well remember that the day my dad took me to see the school, we arrived in the afternoon. for some reason, i had lunch there. maybe my father was doing the administration formalities in the admin office, or whatever i don't recall. but that day, i had spaghetti bolognese as well. today's meal was as tasteless as it was back then. but it was not bad at all. i kind of enjoyed it.
i don't see my childhood as a great one nor do i say it was a bad one. i guess, it was just the way it was. i am wondering why though. i was about to be held hostage at age 0f almost 6-7; my school bus was about to be burnt down by mojaheddin, then after revolution my dad was arrested and put in jail for a year, he was almost executed. but i can say i never said i wish it was another way. i wish it never happened or so! it is strange. i know that i never had that bond with my father, but still love him to pieces.
he suffered a lot but never learnt. i guess he most of all suffered, for he could never provide the life that he wished he would have lived as a kid. i know he had a tough childhood. he had to go to police academy, because he didn't have enough money to go to law school, what he really loved.
i mean, it would have been great if we had more money, but hey, it doesn't really matter to me. i think if i had his proper support i my sports i would have been more than happy. i never had that though.
what a piece today. i just went on and on. so un-focused! but it's a relief.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
at last i have started what i always wanted to do. working on a music and making a short film. i spoke with halim who has recently brought to gether few people and they practice every wednesday in a studio in jumeirah beach road. i went there two weeks ago. i have to say that the guitarist and himself who play bass where quite good. and he practices a lot, which means he is serious. the fusion guy was ok i guess but he was not respecting the guitar player when he was doing his solo. for me, in blues (they play blues), solo is a solo, there shouldn't be additional noise at the back. and he was just murmuring with his saxophone. butthe wost part of the jam session was the drummer. he was ok in technic but he should have probably rehearsed for limp bizkit. blues to me is all about simplicity and purity. the way he played was just simply not fitting in. he excessively accossorised the whole tune and it was not nice. halim and the guitar player talked to him, but it appeared that he just won't get it.
the tuesday befiore i came, i had a short chat in a shisha house with alex. alex is a good friend but hardly seen, recently graduated from art school in UAE. he's a good photgrapher with good perspective and vision who can direct and has directed short films. he showed me few clips of his. quite impressive. and i also really liked his clip in his last show. the idea of short film goes bacl way bakc but it took me probably few years to find a convincing subject and idea to work on. the moment that the idea and subject came to my mind, there was no hesitation to think of alex to partner me in the project.
i discussed it with few and everyone seems so hyped that wanna help as well, which is a good sign. when i talked abou the initial details and how i intend to do that, he was interested as well. nima was also quite excited about the idea and teh whole concept. i guess i have already put a good team together.
so i am now working on the script and sequence one. i am so lookng forward to it. the first production, sounds nice.
today is the weekend. i have loads to do. go to LCM again. study, work on lyrics, work on study. it's good. maybe i go to my first libya house party too.
let see.
the tuesday befiore i came, i had a short chat in a shisha house with alex. alex is a good friend but hardly seen, recently graduated from art school in UAE. he's a good photgrapher with good perspective and vision who can direct and has directed short films. he showed me few clips of his. quite impressive. and i also really liked his clip in his last show. the idea of short film goes bacl way bakc but it took me probably few years to find a convincing subject and idea to work on. the moment that the idea and subject came to my mind, there was no hesitation to think of alex to partner me in the project.
i discussed it with few and everyone seems so hyped that wanna help as well, which is a good sign. when i talked abou the initial details and how i intend to do that, he was interested as well. nima was also quite excited about the idea and teh whole concept. i guess i have already put a good team together.
so i am now working on the script and sequence one. i am so lookng forward to it. the first production, sounds nice.
today is the weekend. i have loads to do. go to LCM again. study, work on lyrics, work on study. it's good. maybe i go to my first libya house party too.
let see.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
it's been my fourth day back in tripoli. dubai was quite interesting this time. i had fun and worked out of my project office, which was great time far from boss and colleagues. i heard that drama queen had also left the project. it was good news. i guess he should have been kicked out long time ago. and the lame ass as well. he's no good leader. he's not a leader in fact!
anyways, they are all now history. at least for a while.
dubai was interesting for i had time to appreciate it and reminded me of what i really have there and could still enjoy them a lot. my thing with maria never happened. it had been the hardest part. i could say it was depressing. i guess it was hard that it never really started. something went really wrong! i have an idea probably why. but i guess i never heard what was exactly going on in her mind.
more interesting was the email i received from an ex of mine! one day, i logged in my official email, and see an email from her from an attachment. really surprised. i wondered why would she send me an email. it was nice until later. anyways, it was an email with confidential info in it. well i had a look at it and as soon as i realised that it's restricted info i closed it and so to make sure if it was intended to be sent to me or not send an email back. hi there how r u etc... the reply was a total turn off though. i mean, for me even if my archenemy do that i would be say thanks for notifying. please ignore that. it was the lamest email. it was both disappointing and a relief. disappointing for it could be otherwise and a bit mature. it was a relief, for it reminded me that i am so happy not being with her or hearing from her anymore.
the belgian beer cafe was awesome. i really love that place. but the problem with it is that i drink too much. well i guess after a month of non-drinking nights and being prisoner of LCM in tripoli, i am entitled to a week of wastedness. my sister was there with her boyfriend. it wasn't the first time she had her boyfriend around me, but the first time that she brought her boy friend to my house. he's a childhood friend. good man but i have my concerns about them, which doesn't really matter. at the end of the day, they are the one who have to decide on how they end up. together or separated.
the last day in lime tree cafe was so fun. i got into girly talk with naghme, newsha and negar!!! i served as the stand up comedian and we had so much laugh and fun. well they are sweet hearts and more importantly, easy to joke with and i can well serve as the devil!
weather i libya had been good so far. not too warm but humid, which is ok to some extends.
i am certain now that older women had a thing for me!!! of all the girls here, a god know 50 and how many years old woman showed interest on me! it is ok but ...
florence and matthew are the newly met people. quite nice. florence is married to another matthew who is a nice man and visits her once a month. so at least i have two people to bribe them for coffee breaks :D i have to move to LCM tomorrow again, which is a pity. i wished LCM was in the city and not so remote.
anyways, they are all now history. at least for a while.
dubai was interesting for i had time to appreciate it and reminded me of what i really have there and could still enjoy them a lot. my thing with maria never happened. it had been the hardest part. i could say it was depressing. i guess it was hard that it never really started. something went really wrong! i have an idea probably why. but i guess i never heard what was exactly going on in her mind.
more interesting was the email i received from an ex of mine! one day, i logged in my official email, and see an email from her from an attachment. really surprised. i wondered why would she send me an email. it was nice until later. anyways, it was an email with confidential info in it. well i had a look at it and as soon as i realised that it's restricted info i closed it and so to make sure if it was intended to be sent to me or not send an email back. hi there how r u etc... the reply was a total turn off though. i mean, for me even if my archenemy do that i would be say thanks for notifying. please ignore that. it was the lamest email. it was both disappointing and a relief. disappointing for it could be otherwise and a bit mature. it was a relief, for it reminded me that i am so happy not being with her or hearing from her anymore.
the belgian beer cafe was awesome. i really love that place. but the problem with it is that i drink too much. well i guess after a month of non-drinking nights and being prisoner of LCM in tripoli, i am entitled to a week of wastedness. my sister was there with her boyfriend. it wasn't the first time she had her boyfriend around me, but the first time that she brought her boy friend to my house. he's a childhood friend. good man but i have my concerns about them, which doesn't really matter. at the end of the day, they are the one who have to decide on how they end up. together or separated.
the last day in lime tree cafe was so fun. i got into girly talk with naghme, newsha and negar!!! i served as the stand up comedian and we had so much laugh and fun. well they are sweet hearts and more importantly, easy to joke with and i can well serve as the devil!
weather i libya had been good so far. not too warm but humid, which is ok to some extends.
i am certain now that older women had a thing for me!!! of all the girls here, a god know 50 and how many years old woman showed interest on me! it is ok but ...
florence and matthew are the newly met people. quite nice. florence is married to another matthew who is a nice man and visits her once a month. so at least i have two people to bribe them for coffee breaks :D i have to move to LCM tomorrow again, which is a pity. i wished LCM was in the city and not so remote.
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