there's nothing that a focused mind and determined attitude cannot do.

eddie vedder - hard sun

when i walk beside her
i am the better man
when i look to leave her
i always stagger back again

once i built an ivory tower
so i could worship from above
when i climb down to be set free
she took me in again

there's a biga big hard sun
beating on the big people
in the big hard world

when she comes to greet me
she is mercy at my feet
i see her inner charm
she just throws it back at me

once i dug an early grave
to find a better land
she just smiled and laughed at me
and took her rules back again

when i go to cross that rivers
she is comfort by my side
when i try to understand
she just opens up her hands

once i stood to lose her
and i saw what i had done
bowed down and threw away the hours
of her garden and her sun

so i tried to want her
i turned to see her weep
40 days and 40 nights
and it's still coming down on me

it's strange how the libyans have the tendency to bullshit people. especially commit themsleves to something that they don't have to in the first place but then they vanish and that part of their memory comes as if nothing had been said on that specific subject! incred-a-bull!

when i was younger and a university student, i have often been reminded of how i am wasting my time playing basket, work as basketball coach and playing baseball. it was by no means fitting in my parents and the surroundings of their small world. i am definitely not the only one who's facing that. i guess i sometime join their league of "lacking dimensions to life" type of persons. i thought a lot about what they said and i still argue with them and with teh perspective they have on life. in fact, what i am made of today, is the result of those days i spent living basketball. we were breathing basketball, being fed by basketball. everything was basketball, MJ, magic, penny hardaway, grant hill and for me above all were scottie pippen and ron harper. strange choices but i learnt a lot from them. to be MJ has never been as excting as being Scottie pippen or ron harper. the fact that they were quite acpable player and material contributors to MJ's success, the way they played in a team and the way they stepped up in teh time they had to, is just inspiring to me. there's hardly anything being mentioned about ron harper, but i never forget his defence on teh last ball of chicagos last championship. he out-defended john stockton on his last position and deflected his 3-pointer.
the point of all these is that no matter where you spend you time, what matters at the end of the day is that you make it worth a while, as ron harper did, as pippen did and as MJ did. i guess we (the ones that breath basketball) also did the same. it made us to be hard workers, focused and i claim professional.

it's amusing how tide turns during time. no matter how hard life is at times, howmany challenges one might face at times, the only thing that it takes is to believe at own's qualities, hard work, patience and to stay focus. while realising one cannot have it all and to be real is essetial, especially for a mentally healthy life style. one thing for sure, is that whingeing the present and lamenting the past, doesn't resolve a thing. it's only hope for now and furture that counts.
and if one is focused enough, then she/he can definitely turn the tides before even the time for tides to turn has arrived.

one of the attributes that i commonly see through people, including myself, from time to time is the need for drama. the level of drama differs of course. in some i say is close to none. i personally try to keep it to the minimum, up to my capabilities. in some is like air.
it only takes "roof" for them to say "no, don't kill yourself!"
well relax dude, chill out. i just wanted to have a moment on the roof and look at the sun set and then come back down or have the roof of my car off; no suicidal intension!
but why? can't take things simpler and easier? i mean we don't have to be fortune tellers and guess what others wanna say? it only takes two good ears to hear what the others say and then respond accordingly if necessary!

i have been quite sick in past few days. i had such a head ache that i could hardly lift my head from the pillow! so i had to stay in the wednesday. i never found out why? it was like a food poisoning and extreme dehydration as a result. it hasn't been that bad though. i experienced a new format of movements in objects and events. i could clearly see a distorted image of the sky and the clouds! the people moving! however, the waves through their natural distortion, they became unified and became fluent and smooths although very harsh and heavy they were pounding the shore! i wonder, have i been drugged?