you know, it really sucks when you write something long, an analysis on an event in a weblog and then when you click "publish post" it shows the error page!!!!

در پی هر گریه - فریدون مشیری

من، بر اين ابري كه اين سان سوگوار
اشك بارد زار زار
دل نمي‌سوزانم اي ياران، كه فردا بي‌گمان
در پي اين گريه مي‌خندد بهار

ارغوان مي‌رقصد، از شوق گل‌افشاني
نسترن مي‌تابد و باغ است نوراني
يد، سرسبز و چمن، شاداب، مرغان مست مست
گريه كن! اي ابر پربار زمستاني
گريه كن زين بيشتر، تا باغ را فردا بخنداني

گفته بودند از پس هر گريه آخر خنده‌اي‌ست
اين سخن بيهوده نيست
زندگي مجموعه‌اي از اشك و لبخند است
خنده شيرين فروردين
بازتاب گريه پربار اسفند است

اي زمستان! اي بهار
بشنويد از اين دل تا جاودان اميدوار
گريه امروز ما هم، ارغوان خنده مي‌آرد به بار

پرتو تابان - فریدون مشیری

در آن ستاره كسي‌ست
كه نيمه شب‌ها همراه قصه‌هاي من است
ستاره‌هاي سرشك مرا، كه مي‌بيند
به رمز و راز و نگاه و اشاره مي‌پرسد
كه آن غبار پريشان چه جاي زيستن است؟

در آن ستاره كسي‌ست
كه در تمامي اين كهكشان سرگردان
چو قتلگاه زمين، دوزخي نديده هنوز
چنين كه از لب خاموش اشك او پيداست
ميان دوزخيان نيز، كارگاه قضا
شكسته‌بال‌تر از ما نيافريده هنوز!

در آن ستاره كسي‌ست
كه نيك مي‌بيند
نه سرخي شفق، اين خون بيگناهان است
كه همچو باران از تيغ‌هاي كين جاري‌ست
نه بانگ هلهله، فرياد دادخواهان است
كه شعله‌وار به سرتاسر زمين جاري‌ست
نه پايكوبي و شادي كه جنگ تن به‌تن است
همه بهانه دين و فسانه وطن است
شرار فتنه درين جا نمي‌شود خاموش
كه تيغ‌ها همه تازه ا‌ست و كينه‌ها كهن است.

هجوم وحشي اهريمنان تاريكي‌ست
ز بام و در، كه به خشم و خروش مي‌بندند
به روي شب‌زدگان روزن رهايي را
سيه‌دلان سمتگر به قهر تكيه زدند
به زير نام خدا مسند خدايي را
چنين كه پرتو مهر
به خانه خانه اين ملك مي‌شود خاموش
دگر به خواب توان ديد روشنايي را

ميان اين همه جان به خاك غلتيده
چگونه خواب و خورم هست؟! شرم مي‌كشدم
چگونه باز نفس مي‌كشم، نمي‌دانم.
چگونه در دل مرداب‌هاي حيرت خويش
صبور و ساكت و دل‌مرده، زنده مي‌مانم؟!
شبانگهان كه صفير گلوله تا دم صبح
هزار پاره كند لحظه لحظه خواب مرا
خيال حال تو، اي پاره پاره خفته به خاك
به دست مرگ سپارد توان و تاب مرا
تنت، كه جاي به جا، چشمه چشمه خون شد
به رنگ چشمه خون كرد آفتاب مرا

در آن ستاره كسي‌ست
كه جز نگاه پريشان او درين ايام
كسي نمي‌دهد از آسمان جواب مرا

به سنگ حادثه، گر جام هستي تو شكست
فروغ جان تو با جان اختران پيوست
هميشه روح تو در روشني كند پرواز
هميشه هر جا شمع و چراغ و آينه هست
هميشه با خورشيد
هميشه با ناهيد
هميشه پرتويي از چهره تو تابد باز

در آن ستاره كسي‌ست
كه نيك مي‌داند
سپيده‌دم‌ها شرمنده‌اند از اين همه خون
كه تا گلوي برادركشان دل‌سنگ است
يكي نمي‌برد از ميان خبر به خدا
كه بين امت پيغمبران او جنگ است
يكي نمي‌كند از بام كهكشان فرياد
كه جاي مردم آزاده در زمين تنگ است

در آن ستاره كسي‌ست
چون من، نشسته كنار دريچه، تنهايي
دل گداخته‌اي، جان ناشكيبايي
كه نيمه شب‌ها همراه غصه‌هاي من است
در آن ستاره، من احساس مي‌كنم، همه شب
كسي به ماتم اين خلق، در گريستن است

this is a link showing how to search for victims of avalanche:

http://www.skinet.com/skiing/backcountry/backcountry-safety/2010/01/how-to-search-with-your-avalanche-beacon

defining moments

last thursday i went ski. it was a severe weather. it was snowing like hell but warm, which is not a good sign generally, as it reduces stability of snow, the crystallines transform to granular snow which leads to instability of snow packs. therefore, it increases the chances of avalanches.
on the way from shemshak to dizin, there's a kind of a road block were there was a guy, a local, standing and he told us not to go. as we asked why and there were lot of cars coming from the top, he threatened that he's gonna call his colleagues up there in dizin and tells them to cause us trouble if we continued! as i was surprisingly asking why i decided that i will go anyway and he could kiss my ass, despite being in agreement with the guy that it was dangerous, but the threat and the adventurous nature that i have is just defying that risk-avert nature.
in the mean time, i knew that i will not risk lives for that adventure.
so we continued and as we were going up the winding mountain road from shemshak to dizin, at a point i decided that i will not drive further, as i felt a bit unsafe. we were two cars. so we turned back, despite the calls to continue or at least wait for few minutes there. we went to a smaller resort called Darbandsar and we skied for a while. i had to called it a short day due to knee problems.
later that day, i received a call from a friend and she was asking if i am ok? i said yeah why, and she told me about an avalanche! it was a kilometer away from where i turned back. unfortunately, 8 people including a woman, lost their lives. i was thinking i could have been one of them. in fact we could have added 5 more to that numbers. that was probably a defining moment in my life and others that were with me! i am glad that i took that decision and it was nothing but to appreciate the mountains, the nature.
one have to look at them with respect. an athlete in nature should feel and connect with it. the day that one shows disrespect to nature, that could be the very last day that one is ever breathing.
while our memories is with their families, it should be also understood that it is part of the game. we all know what is lying out there. every single time that i charge down a steep powder, i am well aware of what could happen. the risks make me not scared but courageous and twice as aware and respectful for i know, a single hesitation, a moment of complacency and disrespect, is too costly and disastrous. this is something that i hope the younger athletes would learn.

today i read an article by Ebrahim Nabavi called "Mousavi a modern leader" (in context). i have to say that Nabavi as a humor writer and columnist with his own ludicrous style is one of my favourites. but i have to admit that his political analysis is just as brilliant and he proved it with his latest article on Mousavi and his defiant Leadership. i personally am so happy to have known his work and read his articles.

nimrodel, the procession, the white rider

one of my favourites by Camel - from the album, mirage


when he rides, my fears subside,
for darkness turns once more to light;
through the skies, his white horse flies,
to find a land beyond the night;

once he wore grey, he fell and slipped away
from everybody's sight;
the wizard of them all, came back from his fall
this time wearing white;

he has a certain air, as if he's never there,
but somehow far away;
and though he seems afar, like a distant star.
his warmth he can convey;

where only eagles dare

as sun beams carve through
the skin of my face
i am
lost
in the lonliness of the purest moment
as i am standing
on the highest high,
where only
eagles dare

sex before marriage!

i was reading a long post on whether it is right to have sex before marriage. but who are we kidding? i wonder why some people are asking such questions? we are now living in a society who men just can't get enough of women and they have so many mistresses beside their girl friends or wife/wives!!! and they are too chicken to see their partner do the same.

regardless of all the bullshit in that article, it triggered the following question:
do we really need to get married when we can have sex?
c'mon man, cut the crap and stop playing the angel; go on and have sex. it's not a sin! it's a physical need!

all hail the executioner

Tehran friday prayer speecher, Ahmad Jannati, applauded the executions encouraging judiciary to show no mercy and thanked them for the execution saying "you executed them for sake of god, thank you."
it made me wonder if god is really that brutal? i mean after all he's all about justice. is this justice? how can so called god sit back and listen to these craps and watch these animals take innocent people's life and do nothing? well maybe he's enjoying the ride!

by peter steele

on your grave
i'll make a wish,
you beneath me
is such bliss

spam and birthday!

today is my 37th birthday... an indication of getting old and slowly ailing body. however, so long as we have spams, there would be no worries. so many ads for VIAGRA and how the girls like my size, that i can only relax and enjoy the day! and in times of need, i know i can look into my spam!

and justice for all?

reading the news everyday and some of them are heart aching. a guy, arrested in a western iranian city is sentenced to death over stupid and general baseless charges. another one had been told by judge that although he's young andthere hasn't been solid case against him, he would be convicted to have contact with MKO since MInistry of Intelligence says so and therefore he would most probably be executed. few others had been rapped and brutaly murdered by judiciary and police officials andi wonder would there ever be a justice?

just a thought

the end is near,
i'm broken wings
and we're standing here
all alone
on the edge
and a step further is
the emptiness

generalisation tendencies!

i don't understand the people who generalise everything, like"they don't understand why iranian people are at extremes... either too salty or no salt (an iranian expression)" or arabs are like this or chinese are like that (i have done taht before myself and i don't get myself why the hell have i said that.
it's sickening...

and when it comes it will feel like a kiss
but silent about it
and i cannot say that i was not warned or was misled

i've read this quote, in farsi said to be from Cyrus the Great. here's my translation:

to fight the darkness,
i shall not draw my sword,
but i will use light

another old post

i came up with this one in 2004, in a rainy night coming back from Nima's house.
probably my first and so far last lyrics. i like it though,. it wa triggered by a song by Omega (the Hungarian 60's rock band) and covered by a Polish singer Kaziczk as well as Scorpions. quite a nice balad the original song is. since i was not able to understand whatit says until lately and thanks to Goole translate. it's mainly what it was back then with few rewording and additions:

moon cries
and her tears fall
through grey skies
as wind howls

dawn comes alive
ending another restless night
sun sets in west
the wait begins

this one is for your eyes
that shines through the darkening night
lights my dark dreams away
breath my soul alive

i feel numb again
in this lost space
longing for time to stop
as i lay my head by you

taste of your lips
touch of your skin
free me as
your soul flies away

this one is for your eyes
that shines through the darkening night
lights my dark dreams away
breath my soul alive

this one is for your eyes
that shines through the darkening night
fight, fight, fight for the right
freedom is near

this an old post. very very old!

an early wake up & a wash of face
she puts on the scarf of slaves

soon leaves home, starts another day
into her lonliest cell

and while she passes me by,
far away at the other side of the cab window,
tangled in cobwebs,
gazing at her never escaping sadness

i guess more of anything, the recent events had been a blessing for me. i have been assigned to a project working with chinese. it was a good experience to see how diverse i am when dealing with other cultures. not that much wit these guys. in corporate world (and not outside of it) chinese are famous for they ruthless treatment of people. i mean all corporates are ruthless except in some of the organisations there would be an explanation, here is nothing clear. some vague comments or no explanation at all. i have not been any better. i intentionally, showed inflexibility in adapting their corporate culture, for it was in vehement contrast with my foundamentals. i am not a foundamentalist, but there are few things that i defy, like blindly following a bigger brother or accept a system which takes the power of thinking and having an opinion from me.
well i can't say i am not disappointed but i am not pissed as well. after all i was not happy with them and the way they were working
i have to say i will miss my supervisor, Xing. he was a nice and decent man. understandably, i am in awe of their obedience towards their superiors. no matter what, they will follow! this was one thing i never even tried to adapt myself with. challenging them to the last second. i know the more senior ones were not happy with that.

adding to that was the discussions on Thursday evening with my now EX-girl, in which she said she's not getting what she wants and then we should not continue. she is right though. no long term plan with her for me. but i could use her comfort for longer time. only naturally, she needs to look after her.

so yesterday i started a new chapter. it's strange though. i am thinking maybe i'm a real misfit for this corporate world. maybe i am too frank and direct, too unpolitical for them. although my experience in Libya says otherwise.

at least now, i have more time to myself and can pursue ski a bit more and lot more of fotography (with "f" and not "ph" of course). got a competition coming up by end of Feb. not much time left.