rebuilding despair

the more i think about it , the more i get scared. what? the time and effort that it takes to rebuild this country. this land that despite my desires to go away and not to look back, just drew me back here. the attraction of this environment, the city set up, the heritage, it all are so strong in me that i could never convince myself to migrate from Iran. i went away and worked for few years. in Dubai, Spain and Libya, but when it comes down for me to decide between Iran and living outside, i chose Iran. one of the reasons was the hope that it will change for better. well, it has changed but for worse, at least for now. and we are yet to see if it will take a twist for better in future and how soon a future?

the desire in me to live in Iran and be Iranian was sop strong in me that i was totally caught by surprise. i never knew i would have that much love for this country.

rebuilding, is what i constantly think about. the task that seems a mission impossible in most of the days. where do we start? people need to change their attitude. attitude is what i believe we mostly misunderstand as culture.

mostly the incumbent government and for a large part of it (not larger tan the incumbent) previous governments are responsible for where we are today. insisting on commitment of the officials and decision makers rather than their knowledge and competencies, their skills; had led to massive and expanded fraud. it's just (to a large extent) hopeless. 

yet, we have no option but be patient and strong with one thing in mind. to redeem our country and make it from the scratch. total overhaul of the country in every level, education, Oil & Gas and other industries, police and security forces (i still have hard time figuring out how can a police live on his wages), government, parliament. we need to establish democracy and transparency. we need to get rid of false beliefs and fictions. 

long way we have in front of us. so many tears are to be shed. that would be the expense, the cost we have to pay for the moment of peace and pride.

drop the leash or get outta my fucking face!

drop the leash we are young...

my favourite lines from QOTSA

the mysteries of life, they just ain't my thing
if i told you that i knew about the sun and the moon
I'd be lying (untrue) 
the only thing i know for sure
is what i wanna do, anytime, anywhere and i say
i wanna make it with you, anytime, anywhere

on death & legends

Chuck Palahniuk once said: 

We all die. The goal isn't to live forever. The goal is to create something that will.

barin of JFK

the whole world will be different soon,

the whole world will be relieved!

friends & acquaintances

too often one forgot the difference between a friend and an acquaintance and too often i get tangled in between to figure out whom i do call a friend and whom i don't? too often the ones that i spend time with them the most, doesn't deserve to be counted as friend!

how unhealthy! but can i really get rid of the acquaintances? well not really, since there are too few of friends around. some of them are thousands of miles away. some are near but for some reasons, it's not happening that we meet up. 

i guess it's a given that most of the times, there are some impurities. 

a friend to me is that no matter what, she or he would not be upset with me. stands by me all the time in good or bad. which makes me wonder, have i been a friend to my friends?

free agents saga...

finally speculations over NBA's free agent market is over and it's been quite a surprise. Miami Heat landed James & Bosh and kept Wade in a race that once more, Pat Riley proved he's a master Tactician, whether he is on the bench or managing the office. Heat the least talked about team during the LBJ campaign, had him as probably the one before last addition to the line up. Derek Fisher is also in talks to make Heat a Super-Power! 

it's obvious that Riley wants to put together another show time team reviving memories of Magic, Scott, Abdul-Jabbar, Worthy, Cooper, AC Green, etc.

and boy he knows how to do it. Bosh was said to follow the money, but after negotiations with Riley, Bosh agreed to a pay cut so Heat can have enough space in salary cap to land LBJ and probably another star. Derek Fisher is the point that Heat would like to have. but who knows if Nash will end up in south beach or not???

i'm a Raptors fan. but for championship, Dallas and Miami had always been my teams. Probably Toronto doesn't have the proper weather to attract big stars. but i like the way they build their teams from younger talents. Amir Johnson, VC, Villanueva, Bosh and few more.

so Heat is now a contender and finally i can say that most probably Lakers won't be champions again! 

but in all that something was very striking. the way that whole LBJ campaign went. waiting for the last minute to announce his decision in a dedicated TV show! i believe it was most unprofessional and unsportsmanlike. i believe Amare Stoudamire, Carlos Boozer, Bosh are just as big (maybe not economically just as big but from a Basketball point of view, they are just as important to a team as LBJ is) all did their thing without a fuss. there are lot of reasons to that of course, though none relevant to the game but all to business. i wonder how expensive were the Ads slots on the networks... 

what was worse than this for me was the comments of Cleveland GM after announcement by LBJ that he's leaving for Miami! he said that James gave up on Cavs on the Game 2 of second round of  play-off! if this is true, then what's the ruckus? 

it's disappointing to see these kind of rhetorics in the sports that i and few special ones around me truly love, the ones that i shared the best moments of my life with them in basketball courts. 

just as sports competitiveness is important, i believe there should be certain degree to how far a showbiz it should be. i believe what James did was out of line and the response by Cavs and Cleveland was far worse.

i sometimes think that adoosh, fass, jafa, karan mak, Babak T and i deserve more to fill those seats than the ones already filling them.

dysfunctional corporate systems.

today was the 10th year anniversary of a colleague working for my company. a huge and very well know one. a company that some will dream of working for. multi-international, good projects, sophisticated processes, anything that a good company have to offer and also so many flaws. 

something that amazed me from the day one was the HR dysfunctionalities (if such word exists). the fact that it's so not-fit-for-purpose that they have no means of recognizing friends and foes. something that i have first hand experience with. 

first HR people (not all of them but quite a lot of them) were from Ice-age. due to their back ground. mainly former admins who had been promoted to managerial positions without proper education, especially lack of resource management and change management skills. i believe change management is within HR essence. there's a flow of human Resource coming in & out of every organisation with a pace specifically defined by the size and nature of the business of each company. so change management first should be realised and understood by HR people. it seems not only at the company that i work for, but also in other companies it is an unattended or rather ignored competency. it somehow reflects the short comings of system developers who had actually ignored it. 

HR system flaws here are so that those who have bad intentions can bullshit their way up where people who have great enthusiasm for working in this company (or other bigger companies). last week i saw a colleague, a bright young talent, leaving the company. someone who could probably work for another 30 years in tis company, someone so proud of working in tis organisation that had chosen a user name with name of the company included in it. it got me to think how easy he'd been letting go? and then today we celebrated the 10th year anniversary of a man, a senior manager, who hardly cares about what's going to happen! 

it just is disappointing. very disappointing. and a colleague friend once put it very well that "it needs a decade for HR Managers and People to evolve. We need to see the incumbents leave the organisations and be replaced with younger people and fresh ideas to have current issues tackled."

a matter of principle

i have some 1800 people on my friends list on face book. some of which i don't know at all, some i know a bit, some i know very well (or at least i thought i'd known until this morning) and a very few are my best friends. 

it's not a that surprising anymore to find out new things about people that i think i know very well. however, the extent of discovery could be quite shocking!

i just found out a boy i used to know since we were kids (so i thought, i'd known him well) and is a supporter of German football team (so far all ok). the thing that stroke me and then i realised how wrong i am about the guy was that he had posted a German flag with a NAZI emblem stamped on it!!! i mean for fucks sake, it's 21st century. how stupid and short sighted one must be to still believe and support Nazis???? 

the good thing is that there's no more of that man in my life in any way...

Virgina Woolf

one cannot find peace, by avoiding life!

in a day...

sometimes there are no words or clever quotes to neatly sum up what's happened in a day. sometimes the day just ends...

darkness & light

Plato wrote "We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."

On Truth

"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act."

George Orwell

on what's lost!

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."

Harriet Beecher Stowe

on Ideology

Ideology separate us. Dreams and anguish bring us together.

Eugène Ionesco

Deity, justice, divine intervention

Neda, Davood Sadri, Sohrab Arabi, Mohsen, Taraneh Mousavi, Amir Arshadi, Amir Javadifar, Amirhossein Toofanipour, Fatemeh Barati, Fatemeh Rajabpour & her daughter!, Fatima Salahshoor, Hamid Maddah, Hassan Shapouri, Hossein Tahmasebi, Hossein Akbari (only 16), Iman Hashemi, Iman Namazi, Kambiz Shoaee, Kasra Sharafi, Ahmad Balouchi, Vahidreza Tabatabaie, Vahed Akbari, Sorour Boroumand, and many many more. sopme of which we even haven't heard from yet! these are all the names who lost their lives in protests last year. now i was wondering were was the one and only Deity! the the mighty and the merciful! where is the justice that he had been talking about it ever since he was revealed? what about the divine intervention? what about all these crimes in his name? it seems that he had laid back and is just surfing the channels!

sitting behind my desk and looking over this huge city southward! the city that has so many stories about me and about millions of others. the city that had shared my happiness and grief, my hope and hopelessness, my saint and evil. the city that i have always cursed and yet i could only miss it anytime i moved!

خرداد ۸۹ - ۱

  میان آن دشت پهناور 

  جایی که  

فرش سبز گندم

در افق

با آبی آسمان، با ابر

  یکی میشود

من

  ،آزاد از هر فکر 

کودکی خود را

دگر بار

تجربه کردم

************

سبک بال

با دلی ناگهان چون دریا  

در حقیقتی ناآشنا

بیدار؛ رویای زمانی را داشتم که

رها از سایه همیشه همراه پلید دیو

  در این سرزمین کهن

شادمانه تر از همیشه

زندگی را، زنده بودن را

پاس دارم

By Ahmad Shamlou

هرگز از مرگ نهراسيده ام
اگر چه دستانش از ابتذال شكننده تر بود
هراس من باري‎‎‏

‚همه از مردن‏ِدر سرزميني ست

كه مزد گوركن از آزادي آدمي افزون باشد

جستن‚
يافتن

و به اختيار برگزيدن

و از خويشتنِ خويش بازويي پي افكندن

اگر مرگ را‚از اين همه ارزشي بيشتر باشد
حاشا‚
حاشا

كه هرگز از مرگ هراسيده باشم

احمد شاملو

it's been quite a few months since it is over. yet, i still have to hear the childish stories. damn, why can't people grow up and learn to live by the consequences of what they do???? i just can't get it! all i can say is just to piss off biaaaaaatch....