sinful joys of life

i guess many of us had been grown up being warnned and sometimes harshly warned of the consequences of sins, bad deed, blasphemy etc. but why? aren't we supposed to be human? make mistakes? learn?
i don't know, i just don't to feel like continue tonight.

rajaz - by camel

where do i start with this one? camel hasn't been my most favourite band but they are indeed very important to music and to me personally. their story, their music, it all makes sense to me and i can well connect. why? well for one, maybe life hasn't been that easy on us and yet, we had managed out of that. not that i compare myself with them, not at all. they are on a totally different scale of success.
anyway, here's rajaz (by the way, this is the second time that this lyrics had made it to my weblog. this song is very personal to me)

when the desert sun has passed horizon's final light
and darkness takes it's place
we will pause to take our rest.
sharing song of love
tales of tragedy.

the souls of heaven
are stars at night.
they will guide us on our way
until we meet again
another day

when a poet sings the song and all are hypnotised
enchanted by the sound
we will mark the time as one
tandem in the sun
the rhythm of a hymn.

when the dawn has come
sing the song
all day long

we will move as one
bear the load
on the road

the souls of heaven
turn to stars
every single night
all across the sky
they shine

heart by pet shop boys

i know it is cheesy, but can't help it. i like this song :)))) it's kinda sweeeeeeeeet

heart
every time i see you something happens to me
like a chain reaction between you and me
my heart starts missing a beat
every time

if i didn't love you, i would look around for someone else
but every time i see you, you have the same effect
my heart starts missing a beat
every time

i hear your heart beat next to me
i'm in love with you; i mean what i say
i'm in love with you, and you don't know
what it means to be with you

every time i see you, no matter what we do
there's a strange reaction, can you feel it too?
my heart starts missing a beat
every time

i hear your heart beat next to me
i'm in love with you
i mean what i say
i'm in love with you
and you don't know what it means to be with you
every time

political incarnation

i was reading the news today to quench my political thirst, that i came to an article on Iran-US relations. the position that Iranians had taken had gone from firm and righteous stance to a lame and ridiculous one!
previously, during bush time, Iranian were saying that they will negotiate if only there's no preconditions. it has been one thing that i was in agreement with our current government. there should not be any preconditions for negotiations. it seems that new US office had reconsidered their stance and not only there would not be any preconditions now to negotiate with Iran, but also Obama sends a new year message to Iranians, not excluding the Government.
now what is our politicians response to that change of rhetoric? they now have preconditions for negotiations! i don't really care whether we have relations with US? Having relations will make life easier but if there are no relations then life is not impossible.
one thing that our politicians are missing, is that time for clever plays and get ride for free is over. just as bush could get to nowhere for free and seeing the world from a defiant eye, Iranians can't as well. now US has a world behind his policies. they are now really leaders with consent of others.
i'm afraid the bush's soul had been in to pieces and each piece had reincarnated in Iranian politicians body!

you sexy thing - hot chocolate

quite a cheesy song this. but it's simple and honest, yet lush. i like simplicity and lush is sexy! Stereophonics had also covered this song, which is a great performance.
here it is:

i believe in miracles
where you from
you sexy thing
i believe in miracles
since you came along
you sexy thing

miracles right before my eyes
you sexy thing got me hypnotised
don't stop what ya' doing
what ya' doing to me
my angel from above lying next to me

how did ya' know that i'd be the one
been a long time coming only just begun
doing all the things that makes my heart sing
keep doing what you're doing you sexy thing

how did ya' know i needed you so badly
how did ya' know i gave my heart gladly
yesterday i was one of a lonely people
now you're lying next to me
making love to me

i believe in miracles
where you from
you sexy thing
i believe in miracles
since you came along
you sexy thing

only yesterday i was on my own
just another day later my mind was blown
you sexy thing come into my life
forever and a day it feels so right

how did ya' know that i'd be the one
been a long time coming only just begun
doing all the things that makes my heart sing
keep doing what you're doing you sexy thing

how did ya' know i needed you so badly
how did ya' know i gave my heart gladly
yesterday i was one of a lonely people
now you're lying next to me
making love to me

i believe in miracles
where you from
you sexy thing
i believe in miracles
since you came along
you sexy thing

kiss me baby
you sexy thing

new US administration

i have been following the news on obama and his team after election. he's been already criticised for what he have not done and have been blamed for financial aid mess, where it has often been overlooked that the financial aid package was implemented by previous administration.
regardless of all that, i believe he had shown sparks of brilliance and (i can say) i believe he is leading the US to greater times. it would be a different US than we all have seen from 80's onward ( my info about pre-80's era is too little to include it here).

seven circles - the tea party

the tea party had become an important part of my life ever since i came to know them. their sophisticated tunes along with powerful lyrics had been everything i could ask for in a modern music. for me the tea party, along with pearl jam, sound garden and blind melon are the best rock bands (or better to say rock influenced) of 90's and after.
it is quite obvious foundatio of lyrics and songs is a well informed take from a lot of information and knowledge (about cultures, music from around the world and especially middle east and iran, sophisticated literature) .
the tea party's last album - the seven circles - was not appealing to me at all at the beginning. the feeling continued until very recently that i some how gave myself a chance to listen to it and i have to admit that my view of the whole album was not a good and accurate one.
here's one of my favourite in that album.
too bad they disbanded (although two of the three members claim they are on temporary leave!)

ocean
where are you going
can i follow
because distance is hard to swallow
you should stay a while
let's have a drink
let's have a laugh
you feel power
and no worries
if that's so
then what's your hurry
if you've got to go
there's just one thing i've got to ask

if i promise an ocean
would you care for the notion of
staying here and resting your weary head
it's all that she said

well the sky's changed
that's for certain
you smile says
what you working
time heals all
this we know
we'll work it out

and if i promise an ocean
would you care for the notion of
staying here and resting your weary head
and would you come back and see me, or
angel am i dreaming because
heaven knows that i'll miss you so
and that's a fact
look now where i'm at
i miss you so
look now where i'm at
i can't let go

there's more questions
than there's answers
i'm not taking any chances
because i need to let you know
just how i feel

and if i promise an ocean
would you care for the notion of
staying here and resting your weary head
and would you come back and see me, or
angel am i dreaming because
heaven knows that i'll miss you so
and that's a fact
look now where i'm at
i miss you so
i can't let go i miss you so

Mykonos - Fleet Foxes

i recently found them. i remember it was another early morning in tripoli and i had to go to work. i was not feeling well at all. it was during my february 09 spell here, which was by far the toughest time i had to pass in tripoli and i had my TV on for a long night, with little sleep with a busy and rustrated mind. i somehow connect with the music. it's not hard to like a good music. i didn't look for the CD while i was in dubai, which is a shame.
anyways, i could find their video clip on facebook and had a look at the lyrics of this song and it was shockingly speaking of a familiar experience.
it reminds me of the day that security forces and militia took my dad away at early years of revolution (it was fall of 1979). this line resembles that very very grey day:
"i remember how they took you down
as the winter turned the meadow brown"

here it is, to my father:

the door slammed loud and rose up a cloud of dust on us
footsteps follow, down through the hollow sound, torn up

and you will go to mykonos
with a vision of a gentle coast
and a sun to maybe dissipate
shadows of the mess you made

how did animals in the snow tipped pines, i find
hatching from the seed of your thin mind, all night?

and you will go to mykonos
with a vision of a gentle coast
and a sun to maybe dissipate
shadows of the mess you made

brother you don't need to turn me away
i was waiting down at the ancient gate

you go
wherever you go today
you go today

i remember how they took you down
as the winter turned the meadow brown

you go
wherever you go today
you go today

when i’m walking brother don't you forget
it ain't often that you'll ever find a friend

you go
wherever you go today
you go today

nuclear threat of iran

it's funny how politics work and how much in fact it is affected by economic drives, specially lobbying, tradition, etc.
for instance, the nuclear stand off between iran and US-EU alliance lately coupled with arab nations of persian gulf and middle east. they have been putting so much effort on having iran abandon it's nuclear programme and how iran is a threat to regions stability and the worlds safety. so many sanctions that had made our life, and specially our life as iranians more miserable. these are all where, next door in pakistan, one of the most politically fragile governments, they own nuclear facilities, had clearly stated that they are not in favour of demolishing nuclear weapons by not joining NPT, they own ready to use nuclear heads, they recently recognised the so called "Taliban" group of murderers and gave them authority, who could at anytime launch an attack on the nuclear facilities and steal nuclear warheads! and yet iran is the danger to world and middle east? am i missing something?

devided nations

observing UN for sometime now and how they come to a dead end recently on most of the issues and the fact that they don't really act as if they have any authorities whatsoever, i suggest we change the name to Divided Nations so there would be no more confusions and the most importantly no expectations!

where are all the warriors?

after more or less three months, UN managed to issue a report on Ghaza offensive and surprisingly condemn Israel! (see http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/meast/03/23/israel.gaza.un.report/index.html )
so unlikely of the "sacred whore" called UN!

what was more shocking was the content of the report where it says: "on January 15, in a town southwest of Gaza City, Israel Defense Forces soldiers ordered an 11-year-old boy to open Palestinians' packages, presumably so that the soldiers would not be hurt if they turned out to contain explosives, the 43-page report said."

this is not to forget that Hamas also used human shield. how chicken one can be to use another life to protect himself?

well done soldiers, if i could call you soldiers. you sound more of a chicken than a soldier. there was a time that soldiers would have gone to distances to save a life. now, they rather see others die! where are all the warriors?

your existance is only sad and sick.

ocean

today i spent few hours on a yacht in persian gulf. it was quite an interesting and exciting experience. it reminded me how it brings me to peace of mind. i had the ocean all to myself, while everyone was having a blast on board. it was serene.
i could also find time to isolate myself from the crowd and look at the ocean, the sky and the clouds. it makes one humble and alive. it is amazing that how much the oceans have seen. they contain loads of lonliness, looks of the sailors and passengers on board at the horizons thinking of the missed ones and the ones who gone missing, adventures, so many lives lost and saved, the serenity of the longest of existence, etc. one can go on forever and ever on that.
i really like the ocean and can stay next to ocean and look at it for hours and just enjoy it just as much i was enjoying it the first moment.

presidential candidacy

i read today that Khatami former iranian president (before ahmadinejad) had decided not to run for presidency. it was a bad news on my own personal terms. i personally trust him and finds him a good man and someone who is fit for the office.
he will now be supporting the former vice president Mousavi i believe. he had already said only one of the two would run for presidency and since Mousavi is insisting on candidacy, he will resign but will help the campaign. it could however be a good. Mousavi is also moderate and reformist with less resistance from hardliners. so he might have a slightly better environment to work at.
i wanted so much for Khatami to run for election and i would have liked to work for his campaign. now, i am not sure. i feel a bit deflated, which is not a good sign.

hyper

walking in between spaces
through different dimensions
i have been
humbeled by crimson god
burnt paitiently like sun
eternal
travelled from sun to sun
following your light
that outshined the stars

AG 15 mar 09

lesson learnt

today we had a drama in our office and i learnt a big lesson. wife of one of my colleagues was here talking to our contracts manager over their house and payments issues. the colleague is one of the best people i have ever worked with. such a nice man.
their conversations heated up as he entered the office of contracts manager and then the wife started to shout and cry!
i was a bit shocked by the scene but i tried to play it cool,for it was not my concern. he came out and i looked at him and said hi and asked how he is.
he looked at me while smiling and said, other than teh house issue everything is fine and i have been told not to interfer, so i won't and he asked me about my weekend.
i was like wow. i don't know what would i do if i were in his shoes! i might have blown as well. what a great man he is and how much respect he has for his wife.
i hope i could be like that in each and every way, patient and respectful.

beggars & conscious

i was at a photo shop to get a picture size passport. a girl covered and speaking in good english took my picture and i left the shop so i return later to get them. as i was leaving the shop, this guy came in. he was obviously begging while talking in arabic. i couldn't understand, but he then followed me and start o speak in english! that he has 4 kids and he's sick and jobless. i chose to walk away and don't pay attention. i can never tell which of them tells the truth? i chose to walk and now it is eating me up. i don't know how could i help him or if i could help him at all, but the fact that i ignored him has not left me alone ever since that encounter. there are two scenarios to this. either he was telling the truth or lying. in any case, i wish i could have done something or at least listened to him! but what should really be done in such situation. if you give money, it's not reasonable, if you chose to walk away, then it's again not fair.
i still can't get rid of the image of that african boy who was staring at me few months back, when i finished shopping for fruits and grocery. i could easily walk up to him and give a bag of oranges or apples, but i chose not to. why? i'm ashamed to say that i was thinking what others would think.

stop the WARs!

special friends

one of the benefits of having special friends is that they have a lot to offer and it is out there for you to pick, there's no price tag on them and some of the are priceless. i am lucky to have 2-3 of them around.
one of them just had a baby boy and he's one of the cutest that even though 6-7 months old, had already taught some lessons to his daddy, which then i had learnt from my friend. a couple of them is amusing and stunning:

- how to enjoy every details of your surroundings
- how to stare to someone you love for hours

it's however depressing how we forget that we have a lot and we cannot enjoy them anymore. a joy without hassle.

how did i get here?

new year

our new year is approaching and there's nothing like it here in libya. it's not fun. it's even worse than the time in dubai. at least back tehre i had many iranian friends and we celebrated the norouz together. now, it's even emptier.
i used to love this day very much.